3:34 am

lay with me

just this once.

just this one time.

just.

lay.

hold me close,

as though i’m slipping away

as quickly as i feel i am.

hold me close,

so my body has some sort of warmth.

hold me close,

just so i can feel you pressed against me.

just so i can feel your heartbeat

against mine,

feel your fingers

trace delicate patterns on my back,

breathe my lungs

full of your smell,

full of your love,

and exhale mine against your neck.

hold me close,

brush through my hair,

hold me close,

pull me close,

hold me,

breathe me,

love me close.

don’t speak.

let me enjoy this without regret.

look into my eyes,

smile softly,

tell me i’m the most wonderful boy you’ve ever seen.

tell me i’m the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen.

tell me i’m the best person you’ve ever seen.

brush my hair out of my face,

drape your arm over my shoulder,

being my face closer,

closer,

where did you go?

unrequited

i told you that i loved you

said you didn’t feel the same.

my soul, it left my body,

no words left in this brain,

my heart told me it’s over,

and the sobs, they overcame.

the moon saw me once more

pleading desperately to the stars,

wishing, hoping, for one more day

where you were more than just a scar.

the next day came, the sun, she rose.

my tears have stopped, supposedly so.

i wish i was yours, but that i’ve shared.

i’d much rather be friends than you not be there.

wholeheartedly yours

exchanging 'i love you' isn't uncommon for us. 
i mean it wholeheartedly when i tell you
i hope you do too.
i think you do too.

love is scary, for me. 
it comes naturally, like a tornado;
it happens, but acting upon it leaves much to be desired. 
i love with everything i have,
everything i am.
but i'm so used to it leaving me aching and painfully breathless
that love is scary for me
to perform the most important, 
most amazingly human thing.

i love love and love loves me, but i'm afraid to love you the way i want to.

the way i feel. 

i haven't felt this way in years.
i'm not sure if it's much more than being 
hopelessly romantic and touch starved,
but i've had an inkling for a year or so. 

maybe we aren't meant, romantically.
nor physically. 
possibly emotionally,
definitely platonically.

for you, i'll settle with that. 
for you, i'll settle for whatever you want.

i wholeheartedly believe you're my soulmate in one way or another.
(or both).
i can't think of a life without you and
quite realistically, honestly, 
i don't want to.
i can't. 
you're my best friend.
i love you.

in whatever way you please.